It seems all my friends, acquantainces, coworkers, etc. have profiles on one or all of the online prostitution friendship service mediums like MySpace. Confession in 5 4 3 2 1: I’m a narcissist. I always score high on those tests. To give you an idea, Napoleon scored two points less than me. That’s how mentally superior [...]
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Cheap Suit Ill Tie Combo: Hi, my name is Earl and I would like to see the person who makes decisions about your services Beatrix Kiddo:Â Oh, that’s strange Earl because I don’t have you in the calendar. Do you have an appointment? CSITC: Err, not really but if could just see the person in charge [...]
Little boy and little girl in bicycles approach me as I’m walking my gorgeous dog. Future Leech of Society: What kind of dog is that? Beatrix Kiddo: That would be a pit bull FLOSL: So cute….uh…she’s so cute…so cute…so cute…very cute…look how cute Goddess in Training: Ryan, it’s actually a he. Come here doggy (she proceeds [...]
This story proves that ethics is a question of perspective… Last year we befriended this intense couple in our neighborhood. The guy was one of those angry drunkards and the girl one of those quiet unassuming boozehounds. In short, the strength of their bond was inversely proportional to the amount of liquor kept in the cupboard. [...]
Dear Mr. FUV driver: Please accept my apologies for not letting you merge into my lane this morning after you tried to get around a line of cars by using the blocked off construction lane. I know your gigantic Suburban is better than my little girly car and can handle that bumpy, stripped road, and [...]
Hello, You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts Animal Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation: Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice Press 2 if you [...]
I think the real estate bubble in the Bay Area is about to burst. I can tell because no less that 21 realtors have applied to the administrative position we recently posted. Now it’s my time to get “realty” even. First, it seems these realtors all think they are entitled to $90K a year while [...]
Imbecile-ssociate: Is that a new tattoo? Beatrix Kiddo: Uhu (well, it wasn’t there yesterday, was it?) I: Did it hurt? BK:Â Nah (lie, 4 hours of gut wrenching pain than only a woman can sit through :-0) I: I don’t understand people who get tattoos. What are you thinking?! When you’re old and your skin is [...]
My goal for 2006 is to move to the countryside. As in, no traffic, no stress, no drama. Actually, no people. I want to move to a cabin in the woods. Ideally, Walden but if that is not available, then Napa or Sonoma will do. So, I’ve been looking for an apartment, cottage, house, warehouse, or even a [...]