babysitting VC style
Keeping up with the Joneses sometimes entails you having to swallow all previous smack-talk of child-free existence and popping or buying, as it may be the case (I’m looking at you Madonna), the 1.5 token kids.
If you are a self-absorbed, deranged VC living in a parallel universe (much like Madonna et al) where the Sun (and all the planets-obviously, less poor demoted Pluto) revolves around you, then you quickly come to the realization that establishing a connection with your baby once a week most likely will interfere with your weekly athletic adventures. Clearly, there’s only one thing to be done. Ha! and it’s not what you are thinking, you human you…
Week 1
Single BFF: Are you up to play tennis this weekend or do you have to babysit?
Incubus: Psssshhhh, hell yeah, I’m up to it. Say, why doesn’t your fiancee stay with Pilar while we ride across the Golden Gate? Five hours tops. That way she can get her ‘baby’ fix… 
Then they could go to the Marina and hang out there in the grass. Oh, and she could do all of Pilar’s calisthenics which my wife is punctilious about, oh and also do the feedings. I’ll bring the baby food so your fiancee doesn’t have to buy anything. I mean why go through the rigmarole of arranging for a babysitter when your fiancee is available, right?
SBFF: Errr, so I asked my fiancee and turns out she’s more into her weekend sleep than your baby so I guess the answer is no.
You would think this is the end of this, as a normal person would quickly catch the drift, and my dear reader, as usual, you would be wrong.
Week 2
SBFF: Tennis this Saturday, anyone?
I: I could, if and only if, your fiancee can watch Pilar while we play. A win/win.
SBFF: Gosh darnit, I didn’t see your reply on time and made other plans. Ah, another time then. Tut tut.
