VC Adventures of the Super-Harlots Club – Installment 5
Rosemary’s Baby Momma: Hiiii Beatriffff (10am and already drunk), JAP wants me to organize the holiday dinner
Beatrix Kiddo: Great (fucking great, last year we got to eat at her husband’s hunting club, basically the creepiest place in the Bay Area, complete with velvet curtains, animal heads, and old geezers in camouflage pants talking about their rifles)
RBM: So this year I think we should keep it at the hunting club because we like had so much fun last year, didn’t we? (quick question: if she is here, who’s running hell?)
BK: Oh, yay…loads of fun last year (especially when half of us got sick from eating the mystery meat appetizer)
RBM: OK, so I’ll have everyone pick from 3 entrees (awesome, mommy please I can’t make up my mind… I’m going to go out on a limb and say steak, chicken, and fish). So I’ll need you to create place cards with everyone’s names and entree choices
BK: Sure (of course, can never manage to pull the whole thing out on your own, can you bitch?). What will be the choices?
RBM: Steak, chicken and fish (You don’t say?! Sometimes I scare myself…)
BK: No worries, I’ll take care of doing the place cards
RBM: Now I need you to give me the codes you’ll use for each
BK: (Uh, codes?) Sure…the codes are: Steak, Chicken, and Fish
RBM: Hang on, let me write those down
There’s nothing else for me to do but to carry her Bimbo Majesty onto the stage on a giant gold, bejeweled throne as handmaidens fan her with palm branches, six African eunuchs dance around throwing rose petals in the air and ten orphans head the procession while burning myrrh and incense. Then an old man in a long flowing robe and sandals would read from a scroll, telling tales of her Rosemary’s majestic power and wisdom. And Kevin Bacon himself would then hand her the Oscar to Most Stupidistic Bimbastic wife in the history of VC.
