hold the reason

Beatrix Kiddo: Incubus, I’m going downstairs for lunch. Do you want anything?

Incubus: What do they have?

BK: Same as always (This guy has to smoke pot, how else do you explain his crappy memory? He ate there yesterday!). Here’s the menu (for the umpteenth time)… 

I: Ugh, I just don’t know (Why do we bother with this exercise? It will end up inevitably on the spinach salad with Italian dressing) 

BK: Well, how about your usual? The spinach salad with Italian dressing

I: Nah, I’m on a diet (This guy is like a chick; and please explain to me how salads and diets don’t go together anymore)

BK: OK. How about the tuna sandwich?

I: I don’t like tuna

BK: What about the grilled chicken sauteed in white wine with artichoke hearts?

I: I don’t feel like chicken (Geez, there’s just not pleasing this guy, is there?)

By now, I’m totally annoyed and pissed that there’s going to be a huge line at the restaurant. I think of offering him a sandwich of arrogance with a side of irritation but bite my tongue.

BK: Perhaps the steak?

I: I don’t eat meat

It’s like talking to a five year old. What’s next? I feed you with the airplane-spoon?

I: Hmmm…the pasta with olive oil and garlic shrimp looks nice (Uh? I thought there was a diet being spoken of?)

BK: OK

I: Oh and I’ll take that with no pasta

BK: Pardon?

I: Get the dish with all the seasonings but without the pasta, you know for the diet…

BK: In that case, isn’t easier to order the shrimp kebobs?

I: OK, but without the stick thingies

BK: Shall I have them hold the shrimps too?

I: Huh?

BK: Nothing

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