simple math
The ungodly length of time I’ve been toiling away at this job is good for something.
You see, when you’ve been putting up with shit for like, oh I don’t know, a fucking eternity, you arrive at what I like to call the ’Bite Me’ stage. This stage is pretty fun because if you are vital to the operations of the business and there’s no one else who can replace you, well, you have pretty much carte blanche to exert some, err, influence attitude and get away with it. Insert rolling of the eyes, loud sighs, snappy comebacks, middle fingers, etc. Â
So when Incubus called me on the Sunday night before a holiday because the bloody Exchange (which by the way the only thing it exchanges are headaches)server was down, again, for the 10th time that week, instead of ‘Sir, yes sir, I’ll get right on it‘ this tumbled out:
I will not be logging in to the server remotely or, worse, drive my ass over to the office to restart the server. Partly because of circumstances beyond my control but mostly because I have a life.
I have a life outside of this godforsaken office that I am trapped in for 9 hours a day. If we incude the 8 hours I like for sleep and 1 hour for working out, that only leaves me 6 hours a day in which I can live my life, have fun, fulfill obligations, pay bills, run errands, watch tv, clean my house, and hopefully meet friends to consume the vats of alcohol that have the virtue of making me forget
youwork for a little while.Yes, I know that once I have my own business I can work the hours I like, but I just want you to be aware that while you’re out gallivanting at coffee shops and the gym and shopping at Crate and Barrel on your three hour lunch, I am here answering your calls from investors you haven’t called back in a zillion days because you’re too busy downloading music from Rhapsody to return their calls. Maybe I’ll just start telling them how you’ve squandered all their money to finance for your taste for lycra biking suits (gaaaayyyy).
Not to mention the twenty five jobs that I perform flawlessly (most of the time anyways) on a daily basis and which include making wart zapping, hair cutting, car fixing, vacation researching, and fart investigating appointments for you. Things that I definitely did not sign up for. To conclude, I have a burger in the grill and need to go.
And so on Tuesday I got a fat raise. Whipushhhhh!
