spy vs spy
The Flighty One’s computer is at odds again. This time (as in and the other 99 times before) the cause of the problem is too much fucking free time and a raging case of perennial midlife crisis.
You see, when these two factors combine, it results in an OCD condition that impulses you to buy and install any latest beta bullshit software for your computer. And because Microsoft anything is soooo stable and reliable and never gets any bugs whatsoever, you end up with a stupid PC that takes ten minutes to open a file. I illustrate:
If you wanted to go to www.google.com using the Flighty One’s laptop, you’ll get there faster by leisurely strolling over to Google’s offices in Silicon Valley. This should take you 2 hours versus 4 when trying to log in from his laptop.Â
Beatrix Kiddo: OK, I uninstalled programs A, B, and C which were conflicting with Windows. I also had to decompress the operations system. As I told you 3 months ago, if you compress it, every time you boot up, the operating system has to decompress all the files and this takes a very long time (you moron)
Flighty One: Ok. What about the antivirus software?
BK: Right. I installed a different one. The one you had ‘Virus R Us’ is not very reliable (obviously). Also, I didn’t have time to finish doing everything so when you get home go to this link, download the freeware spyware removal tool there, and run it once
Two days later….
FO: So, I bought that software you recommended…
BK: Bought?! It’s freeware
FO: Well, I went to that link but the only thing they sold there were mirrors
And for anyone with a forehead wider than the width of two fingers put together, a mirror site is an exact copy of another Internet site, most commonly used to provide reliable access to downloads.
In the case of the Flighty One, a mirror is only the object that reflects an empty space where his head should be.
Resistance is futile. The world is run by jackasses…and viruses. Jackass viruses.
