get well
I was out on my back for a couple of days due to an unnameable medical procedure. To show how much he appreciates my back breaking work the Commanding Asshole sent me this:

No, it wasn’t an error from the florist. As it goes, this particular basket was on sale for $12.99 (presumably because they had a huge inventory of unwanted fucking bears and birthday balloons). And I know this because….drum roll please…I got the bill.
In a related story, top scientists and witches predict that the next “Going Postal” incident will take place in my building sometime in the near future. Strangely enough, it will not involve a post office but a wanna be venture capital firm.