venture capital business idear
Me thinks the best business idea in the world has to be the “International Star Registry.” Basically, they “let” you name a star after someone…for a price. If you’ve heard the ads in the radio, this is a great gift for birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, Mother’s Day, or just to tell everyone “I’m a big fucking moron.”
Now, there has to be a huge market in this country for this kind of business seeing as they are still financing more adverts with the money the “Coalition of Retarded Nincompoops of America” has sent in so far. According to my awesome research abilities and the facts of life, the only organization that can actually name celestial objects is the International Astronomical Union so the piece of parchment paper framed in your bathroom is really not worth…pun intended…shit. I love to rub salt on a wound so if you got to name a star after your dog, I freaking triple dare you to go find it in an official astronomical chart. Unrelated, I’m from some nation in Africa and have millions in the bank but I need someone to help me get them out of the country…if you help me do the transaction through your bank account, you’ll be a millionaire in no time.
So with this in mind I have decided to start the “International Country Registry” where you’ll send me $100 and you’ll get to name a country after you! I will send you a keychain, a picture of the country, and a marker so you can play ‘Where’s my country?” And now for a limited time you can also contribute to my Botox fund donate an extra $10 a month and you’ll become the owner of any petroleum reserves that are found in your country. We can even have them trucked to you through any ocean! What are you waiting for?!
I even think I can get the vultures at my office to back up my business venture with their non-existent cash reserves. Lemme see…I’m gonna need $10 million to start. This should take care of the flyers, the Ferrari, and the Porsche 911. What?! I’m fancy.
