I got a brand new couch! A grown up’s couch too. Ha! So I decided to give my existing one away in craigslist to which effect I placed the following ad: FREE Ikea Klippan Couch Thing Monster This is a marvel of Dutch modern design from Ikea. What do the Dutch know about cushioning your ass? [...]
Lest you be wondering if the world is still turning properly on its axis, my boss is alive and well and fuggin’ it up, the way Mother Nature intended. Balki Bartokomous: Beatrix, remember the business blog that I’m suppossed to be writing? Beatrix Kiddo: Yessss (Annoying stupid request in three, two, one…) BB: Well, I’ve been sooo [...]
Me thinks the best business idea in the world has to be the “International Star Registry.” Basically, they “let” you name a star after someone…for a price. If you’ve heard the ads in the radio, this is a great gift for birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, Mother’s Day, or just to tell everyone “I’m a big fucking [...]
How come I’m never in the plane where this happens: Girl Kicked Off Plane After Tantrum? I’m not a huge fan of flying and I ever rarely do. But when I have to do it, it never fucking fails there are no less than 5 screaming babies seating around me. What the fuck?! It was bad enough to [...]
You know when people tell you that smoking marijuana kills brain cells? Well, it’s not true. Lest some of you start pulling out bogus reports and assaulting me with false assertions I really don’t care about, let me assure, if it does indeed destroy brain cells, it certainly is not better at this than my [...]
Tweeddledum: Hey there Beatrix. What did you do this weekend? Beatrix Kiddo: Uh (I try to make it obvious, you know?, it never works), well I went to the shooting range T: Really? To shoot what? BK: Targets T: With what? Darts? (does he dare mock me?) BK:Â Actually with my shotgun (you fuckhead) T: And [...]
Dorkus Supremus decided that he wants to create a website that documents the impending birth of his evil spawn son. Obviously, by “create a website” he really means “let’s stick Beatrix Kiddo which yet another inane project that is completely outside of her job description.” Because he is a spineless person cunt, he plays the game [...]