Smartassery

Yesterday I was watching Man vs Wild featuring Bear Grylls.

So his name is Bear, he is scorchingly hot, has a British accent, a suave demeanor, and can survive in the wild (any climate mind you). I don’t know him personally but if he is a good listener and remembers birthdays that proves once and for all that the perfect guy does indeed exist.

In contrast, look at the men I work with. While Bear, who is obviously so married, can make fire with 2 twigs and a bit of straw, boil water, make tea out of pine needles, and a dinner out of fish he hunted while swimming, VCs display far more ingenuity: 

1. Fill electric kettle with water

2. Stare at kettle for 10 minutes

3. Put tea into cup

4. Pour cold water into cup

5. Stare at cup for 10 minutes

6. Call Beatrix Kiddo

Notice, notice!, how at no point I mentioned the actual turning of the kettle on, which, granted, involves the complicated action of moving a small lever with one’s thumb.

I reckon the VC’s plan to changing a diaper would be to stare at the baby and the shit alternatively for 20 minutes until deciding that the shit is not walking off and then chuck the whole package, baby and all, in the garbage.

So the moral of the story is that civilization has actually done no good to humankind, except of course for Bear, for whom Calvin Klein trunks really are a blessing…for me anyways. Also that VCs are idiots.

Interestingly, one of Bear’s tennets of making it in the wild is: Common Sense. 

Here is a picture of Bear being all manly:

 

This entry was posted on Friday, March 16th, 2007 at 10:11 pm and is filed under Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.