Smartassery

Stage 1: Living downtown SF is the greatest! It’s so wonderful living in such a vibrant, diverse community. I love being able to walk to hipster bars, overpriced albeit yummy restaurants, and leather furniture stores where the cheapest couch costs 9 months’ rent.

Stage 2: SF is a squalid cesspool, a third-rate wannabe capitol like Dakar or Isengard, full of hipster losers and youth violence gangs of rogue Uruk-hai.

Stage 3: Thank god I live in the suburbs! It’s so clean, the schools are great, and I don’t have to worry about being raped on the way back from Whole Foods or having pennies thrown at my head.

Stage 4: Argh! The suburbs are a boring, sprawling wasteland of stripmalls, $tarbucKKK$s, and cookie-cutter McMan$$ion$. I read it in the Cliffs Notes to Foucault’s Madness and Civilization. $ma$h the $tate!

Stage 5: Go to Stage 1.

PS: Oh yeah, happy new year and all that, yawn.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 4th, 2007 at 12:54 am and is filed under odds and ends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.