Beatrix Kiddo: Dorkus, do you have a minute? Species Tool Dorkus: Oh geez, what is it? BK: Well, since we’re always trying to find ways to save the company money, I thought you’d like to know that I found a way of saving the company $100,000 by spending only $5,000 STD: Lets’ see…is this right? The [...]
Idiocracy Director:  Hey Beatrix…you know about diets, right? You’re always trying to lose weight, right? (right, come closer so I can stab you in the eye with my pencil) Beatrix Kiddo: (blank face) ID: Anyway, I’m trying to cleanse my colon, you know you should do that? (ew, waaaay too much information). So, should I go with [...]
Idiomatron: Beatrix, schedule a staff meeting Beatrix Kiddo: Sure, what’s the topic? I: I want to share my grandiose project idea to keep track of meetings with a pencil first, then a spreadsheet, that will later be transformed into some sort of image that looks like an apple pie with colored slices. But it’s not [...]
Loservious has decided that all employees will now have to fill out a self-evaluation form. By employees, he means the other idiot and myself. Two people. Either Loservious has crafted a brilliant malefic plan to test our skills as liars (maybe we’re going to reorganize as a world class spying agency…in which case I call dibs [...]
Her Cuntness:Â Thank you again Beeetriffff for coming with mai to pick the holidays giftz (it’s 9 in the morning…why is she slurring?! Cheerios and Bloody Marys?) Beatrix Kiddo: No problem (actually big fucking problem for me, seeing as I despise you) HC: Argh. Somesingsup. Why won’t the car start? Loservious is ganna kill mai…oh my [...]
Stage 1: Living downtown SF is the greatest! It’s so wonderful living in such a vibrant, diverse community. I love being able to walk to hipster bars, overpriced albeit yummy restaurants, and leather furniture stores where the cheapest couch costs 9 months’ rent. Stage 2: SF is a squalid cesspool, a third-rate wannabe capitol like Dakar [...]