devil’s food
Desperate Baker: Um, yes, I’m calling regarding your order for a birthday cake…
Beatrix Kiddo: Oh yes. It should have been here 2 hours ago…
DB: Well, we’ve baked three different cakes for you guys. But for some strange reason, every time we pull them out of the oven, they deflate!
BK: (oh no, not the curse of Twathead Ventures) ummm
DB: I apologize a zillion times. We bake hundreds of these every day and this has never happened
BK: Well, that’s because you’ve never baked anything for us before (…because if you had, you would know better)
DB: I’m sorry?
BK: I meant, no worries. Just bring it over just like that
DB: But half of it has collapsed! This is not a proper cake!
BK: Honey, then call it a soufflé. It’s for Satan’s birthday anyway and if he doesn’t have something in front of him, he’ll probably start asking for the blood of a virgin
Later on…Picture the evil confederacy, I mean, the managing directors in their pornenture meeting, I mean, partner meeting.
Picture Beatrix Kiddo making my surprise entrance in the conference room with the candles-on-the-pretty-side-only-cake-soufflé-monster-thing in my hands.
Picture the handicapped cake being propped up in front of birthday manchild for him to blow the candles.
Picture him starting to make a go for it as the rest of his clan cheers him on. And then, at that precise moment, picture the good side of the cake letting out a hissy noise and collapsing too.
Now picture a pancake full of wax and fire and that, my friends, it’s a proper birthday evil style. Maybe a clown would have helped?
