Smartassery

Dear God,

I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. Living in this country, I can’t help but notice that a whole bunch of people think you are “the shit,” hearing or reading about your divine nature and limitless compassion for as long as I can remember.

You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised the dead! By know it is obvious to me that you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer and to hear their agonized prayers. Which brings me to the issue at hand…I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now, God, yet still my prayer remains unanswered.

Please tell me: Why won’t you run over Despotus with an 18 ton cement truck? Every day is another eternity of listening to Despotus talk about his morbidly obese pet-human creature, his wife’s water retention issues, their vacuous $1 million dollar home, their breeding drama, his ass-boils…I think you  get the bloody point.

I am suffering beyond the point of endurance my Lord. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by sending a cement truck of mercy to squash Despotus flat in all your love and wisdom.

Regards,

Beatrix Kiddo

 

PS: Totally unrelated, you need to do something to rescue Katie, as obviously, Tomatan (Tom + Satan) has been feeding her some strange potions…ya know? since you’re like omnipotent and stuff… 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 6th, 2006 at 12:33 am and is filed under Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.