Smartassery

Bold Ninny: I need coffee (he proclaims as he stares right at me from the other side of the room)

Beatrix Kiddo: Okay. I’ll make some

BN: No, not office coffee (I wonder why he doesn’t like my coffee anymore?). I want a Starbucks latte

BK: Okay

BN: So I’m going downstairs to get one

BK: (does he want me to carry him there?)

BN: Ummm…do we have any petty cash?

BK: No. Remember I suggested it twice and you said we didn’t really need it?

BN: Errr…jikes. I need $4

BK: (blank face)

BN: Can you, errr, loan me $4?

BK: No

BN: But I really need a latte (he says this in the whiny high pitched voice that twists my innards into a knot)

BK: (The fucking nerve. He  makes 5.71 times my salary! On principle alone, I’m going negative) Look at it this way, I really need a vibrator but I don’t ask you for one. It’s all about appropriateness. 

 

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