Smartassery

Little boy and little girl in bicycles approach me as I’m walking my gorgeous dog.

Future Leech of Society: What kind of dog is that?

Beatrix Kiddo: That would be a pit bull

FLOSL: So cute….uh…she’s so cute…so cute…so cute…very cute…look how cute

Goddess in Training: Ryan, it’s actually a he. Come here doggy (she proceeds to pet him the right way by presenting the back of her hand first to let the dog smell her)

FLOSL: Uh?

GIT: It’s a boy, see? Whatever, I have one that it’s a mix between a pit bull and a boxer. It’s rather fascinating (I kid you not, that’s what she said)

FLOSL: Err (no doubt feeling left out and trying hard to steer the attention back to him)…what color is she?

BK: (ok, evidently his eyes are not for seeing…) He is red

FLOSL: What language are you?

BK (whoa! curveball! what have we been speaking thus far dude?) What do you mean?

FLOSL: Uh?

GIT: Ugh, please forgive Ryan, he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer if you know what I mean (and then she winked at me!)

BK: Hmmm, let’s see, did you mean, what other languages I speak given my intriguing accent? My first language is Spanish. (Then I couldn’t resist…) Is your last name Bush?

FLOSL: Uh? (this boy and his parents communicate in primitive sounds that never quite become words)

(long uncomfortable silence in which I’m reminded of why I’ll never have kids)

FLOSL: Does she bite?

GIT: It’s a he! He has a penis, like you. It’s a he!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 at 2:08 am and is filed under rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.