Smartassery

This story proves that ethics is a question of perspective…

Last year we befriended this intense couple in our neighborhood. The guy was one of those angry drunkards and the girl one of those quiet unassuming boozehounds. In short, the strength of their bond was inversely proportional to the amount of liquor kept in the cupboard.

Many nights of spousal abuse, visits from the boys in blue, restraining orders, general legalese, and rare moments of lucidity, finally convinced this caustic couple to call it quits. Well, it was more like, she decided this upon having met this very handsome boy with twinkly green eyes (and a penchant for drama, emotional baggage, and Asian boyrls). So, one morning while Angry Drunkard Husband was off to work, she and Twinkle Asianphile Guy moved her out of the conjugal dwelling.

When ADH came back home, he quickly realized what had happened and fell into a coma of despair (and Jack Daniels). His loving mother and sister ran to his aid and tried to pry him away from the claws of depression to no avail. Every night he left the Alcoholic Harlot from the Orient lengthy voicemails in which he wisely tried to use the ultimatum, threats, and begging cards. It was as if she had dropped from the face of the earth. In fact, per her own words, she hated his living guts and nothing could make her happier than him dying already. Divorce preceedings ensued…

Then one day, just like that (or perhaps to delay the whole splitting up dilemma), he decided to enroll in the Army, where they quickly shipped him off to Iraq as it is customary nowadays. Well, at least this would be an outlet for his amped up hideous temper. Except that when he was back (yes, he managed), he picked up just where he had left off and restarted the tragic attempts to make AHO recapitulate (o’course, the only thing she was interested in, was him signing the damn papers and stop beating the dead horse).

The cornerstone of ADH’s master plan, hinged on him threatening to commit suicide which would no doubt make her see what she was about to lose. Not counting on her astronomic hatred of him, proved to be a glaring mistake, and the cocktail of pills and Absolut propulsed him to his demise. His funeral was a subdued affair to which logically she didn’t attend. As if.

A short time after his death, the Army started sending her monthly checks per her status as a widow of a soldier. Never mind that said soldier was a drug addict, mentally imbalanced, and, who could forget, didn’t die in combat. Now, some soldiers do sink into a depression after witnessing the horrors of war, wack themselves to death, and deservingly should have their families taken care of. Not the case. 

ADH’s family requested her to do the right thing, that is forgo the money given that AHO was in the process of divorcing ADH and didn’t want anything to do with him. AHO, encouraged by TAG who no doubt saw years of free and blissful support of his very costly pot indulgence, categorically refused to relinquish or donate any funds and continued to accumulate ADH’s death spoils. Ethics?! Puhlease.

The cherry on the cake came yesterday in the form of a life insurance payment of $150,000 to AHO. Well, $88,000 after taxes but who’s counting. That plus the monthly checks of $3,000 that she will continue to receive until she remarries (which unless she’s a certified moron, it will never happen), will ensure countless years of worry-free rolling in the hay with her boy du jour. And they wonder why they have insomnia and, may I add, a tormentous relationship (patterns anyone?).

In the meantime, our maimed veterans of many a war continue to get this: ZERO. And our hard earned dollars, we so begrudgedly give to the government to cover shit we need like social security and the like, continue to support pointless wars and scrawny tramps.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 28th, 2006 at 8:09 pm and is filed under rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.