Smartassery

Loony Asinine Managing Entrepreneur: Er, so yes, Breatrix, when is the IT guy coming again?

Beatrix Kiddo: He was here yesterday. What do you need?

LAME: Well, I installed Windows Vista in my computer and now it’s not working properly (fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…people like him should never get a computer. An Etch-a-Sketch should be more than enough)

BK: Ok. What exactly is it doing and have you tried anything yet?

LAME: Since it was a beta version (naturally, because beta versions are so safe) I tried to uninstall it, but now I have things like triple icons and calendars (how did I end up with the most retarded bosses in the world?). So I Googled the issue, and some kid said to download and install a patch which I did (oh boy) and now the cursor doesn’t work and there’s this box in the middle of the screen that says “TOAST.”

BK: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5…big breath in) Right. So let me call me call our tech…

…who laughed until he was in tears but before collapsing on the floor managed to suggest I call Microsoft…which went something like this:

MS Rep: Well, since it is a beta version, we really don’t know anything about the potential problems that can happen. Can you take a screen picture and e-mail it to me?

BK: Negative, the cursor doesn’t move and I think the keyboard is melting.

MS Rep: May I interest you in our specials? (a gimmick to get you to buy more of their shit? lovely)

BK: Sure but first let me transfer you to the person who can handle this transaction. Boss, there’s someone on line 2 for you.  

This entry was posted on Monday, August 7th, 2006 at 1:05 am and is filed under Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.