Smartassery

Funny thing how karma works. Cutting someone off on the street clears the path for you to careen undisturbed into a wall. Or you spend your life making your assistant’s life a living hell and then your vacation gets cancelled.

Case in point: Mr. Burns decided that he has worked hard enough (trolling the Internet for laptop cases) this year and would like to take a sabbatical. In the holy land of…Israel.

An arduous month of making reservations with obscure hotels and shady tours (I would take the Uzzi just in case) and when every single piece of the fucking trip was anchored, all hell broke loose and a war ensued. Does no one care about my feelings?! Although I didn’t see why he would have to cancel the trip (it’s all okay in Jerusalem, right?, please just leave before I lose my marbles…), he did. Arghhhh.

Just as I was making the appointment with the therapist (you just don’t know what a month of hearing Mr. Burns’ affected uppity voice can do to the human spirit), he called me into his office to inform me that instead he would go to Asia. Yay! There’s a God after all, I’ll be damned.

Now, about the Asia reservations…he bought tickets with a myriad of airlines of questionable reputation. Like Angel Airlines, a cargo airline that only operates two tiny routes within China.

Beatrix Kiddo: Is this Angel Airlines? Yes, hi we have a reservation and would like to reserve some seats in an exit row if possible?

Angel in Charge:  Ugh…Zhang meng (oh dear). No sits no sits…

BK: I’m sorry, are you saying you have no seats left?

AIC: Liu yo rong (shut up!). No sits ladi…esmaw plain no sits (I don’t get it, will they be sitting on the floor among the chickens? Guess exit row is out of the question then)

BK: Mmkay. So no seats. When could they check in?

AIC: Humph. WT Zheng (stop bothering me). No sits no chikin (allright, at least no chickens), meni peepl…(and then the line goes dead)

Let’s review. So far I’ve gathered that Mr. Burns will have to hack it in a small plane with no seats, no chickens, no check-in, a long line (which I hope it’s more like a moshpit), rude attendants, and probably powered by angel wings… 

Perfect! Mr. Burns, it’s all taken care of. Enjoy your flight. 

Mr. Burns gives instructions to his assistant

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 26th, 2006 at 7:00 pm and is filed under Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.