Smartassery

Ink Blot in Charge: Beatrix, here are my expenses for this month

Beatrix Kiddo: Let’s see. Oh, February expenses in July! I see you’ve finally come to grips with the idea of turning them in on time

IBIC: Uh? (oh forget it! sarcasm is lost on this life form)

BK: Never mind. I’ll process them

IBIC: Oh, also, can you balance this credit card and call to ask what this charge was for?

BK: Is this your wife’s credit card?

IBIC: Yes

BK: Is she mortally wounded?

IBIC: Uh?

BK: Oh, I thought she must be. Why else would you ask a complete stranger to balance your credit card? Also, did you ask her what the charge was for? (yeah, let’s start by thingking here…)

IBIC: She doesn’t remember (’cause she’s a Stepford wife, that’s why)

BK: I see. Did she call the credit card to inquire? (I think I already know the answer to this)

IBIC: Err, no. She’s busy (but o’course)

BK: Oh. Busy at the tennis club, at the pool, or perfecting her pedicure? 

IBIC: Err…and also the kids (notice there’s no denying of the above past times)

BK: Well, taking care of her affairs has been rather an ongoing thing for the past year. May I respectfully remind you that being a personal assistant to the wives of the partners is not part of my job description. However, if you insist (and I suspect she demands it) I would suggest we revise my salary accordingly seeing as her taskings occupy as much of my time as those of a managing director.

IBIC: Err (yes, that’s the extent of his vocabulary)

BK: And further having kids is a personal choice to be made being fully aware of the emotional, physical and time commitments it entails in addition to running your life. Can we talk about the increase? (Why is running away? Wait, let’s talk…)

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 20th, 2006 at 3:40 am and is filed under Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.