Smartassery

Patchwork Hair Boss: Did you hear? A pit bull attacked a baby (Mmmmkay). So you be careful with your pit bull there (here we go again)

Beatrix Kiddo: Hmmm…how did it happen?

PHB: The parents were trying to introduce the baby to their dog and the dog ate the baby’s face

I can’t believe I have to engage in this argument about 20 times a year.

First, introducing a baby to ANY animal not only exposes the squirmy thing to a myriad microbes but also has the potential for accidents to happen. Babies of any species are easy snacks.

Would you introduce your baby to a horse? Probably not, seeing as the horse is such a powerful animal that can stomp him to bits. What about to your pet tiger? Hey, what about to the street corner gang members? 

What should have made news in this case was the lack of common sense and sheer stupidity of the parents.

Second, very few animals are inherently bad. Being bad is a human quality that we like to transfer onto everything that doesn’t agree with us.

What makes a pet annoying or dangerous is his owner. The owner is the one that lets the dog do things that other humans would consider “bad.” If the owner has not trained the dog properly, is abusive towards it, and refuses to accept responsibility for the dog’s behavior…can you really blame the dog?

The dog doesn’t speak English and he certainly cannot read imbalanced minds.

Third, in his eight years of life, my beloved APBT has yet to hurt a fly. In contrast, he has been attacked, without retaliation on his part, by the following breeds: German Shepperd, Golden Retriever, Chihuahua, Labrador, Akita, Pomeranian, Schnauzer, Cocker Spaniel, Rottweiler, Border Collie, and, yes, a Pit Bull.

Did I run hysterically labeling all these breeds as murderers? No. This what I did instead: went up to the asshole owners, described their dogs’ behavior, asked them to contain them, advised them that next time I would call Animal Control/Police, and pointed out that in the future, should I feel my life is in danger, I would Mace and stun-gun their dogs. The end.

Fourth, it is no wonder people are so misinformed with regards to this much maligned breed seeing as they’re  steadily spoon fed a diet of let’s-inflict-hysteria-on-the-masses-by-picking-on-anything-and-deflecting-truth news put forth by the retarded media (spearheaded by FOX). Remember the Weapons of Mass Destruction? Exactly.

Am I the only one to notice that the media only reports dog attacks that are done by pit bulls? What about the 2000 case of the Pomeranian that ate a baby? Also, did you know that people misidentify breeds involved in dog attacks about 70% of the time? http://www.understand-a-bull.com/BSL/MistakenIdentity/WrongId.htm. See if you can tell what a pittie looks like: http://www.pitbullsontheweb.com/petbull/findpit.html.

Do your research before spewing generalizations and perpetuating stereotypes http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/duip/dogbites.htm. And please please please stop regurgitating the cockamammie stories that pit bull bites have so many pounds of pressure and that their jaws lock http://www.pitbulllovers.com/american-pit-bull-terrier-myths.html. Biology 101.

Fifth, pit bulls happen to be one of the breeds that score higher in temperament tests http://www.atts.org/statistics.html. They rank on par with Golden Retrievers and ahead of the annoying ass Chihuahuas. If, as a responsible dog owner, you socialize, train, and educate your dog, of any breed, properly, you will have many years of stress free and wonderful companionship.

Sixth, shame on legislators (and stupid people) for trying to ban the breed. Talk about profiling!

While we are at it, let’s ban all Latinos to prevent them from joining a bloody gang, all Blacks because statistically they commit the most drive-by shootings, all Muslims because they are all potential terrorists, all White people because inevitably they all become addicted to crack or meth, all Honda drivers because they can’t drive, all trees because they get in the way of parking lots, and all cats because their shit stinks.

What a hitleresque policy of hatred. The list can go on to encompass every bleeping thing on Earth if we let it. Stop the insanity!

 

Punish the Deed, Not the Breed!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pit_bull

http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/duip/dogbites.htm

This entry was posted on Friday, July 14th, 2006 at 2:17 am and is filed under odds and ends, rants, Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.