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One of the managing directors in all of his infinite wisdom and boundless generosity has decided to send some funds to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Who cares if almost a year has passed since the deadly winds? The important thing is that he’s being thoughtful towards his fellow human beings.
So, he has filled out a check and given it to me to mail out. As he does, he makes a sacrificial face and says: “You know you gotta help these people” and proceeds to walk away puffing his chest.
I took a glance at the amount and almost fell off my chair. You see, the check was for $100. Which it’s okay. You give what you can. We all did and do. Except that this guy’s yearly income breaks down like this:
Salary – $400,000
Benefits – $10,000
*this is extra cash he gets paid to cover the cost of his family’s health plans. This also includes pet insurance for his poodle.
Expenses – $20,000
*the infamous personal expense account that covers his personal stuff such as new PC’s for all his kids. $20K is also just a ballpark figure. We’re not hard asses here.
Taxes – $200,000
*these are paid for by the company so it’s free money
Scams – $insert infinite loop here
*this is the latest method of milking the management company and it involves giving the difference between the estimated tax payments of each director to the other one…in cash. So, if one director paid $52,000 in taxes this quarter and the other paid $5,000, this last one is also entitled to a check for $47,000 made to himself. How is this legal?
Anyway, essentially he makes $630,000 (without counting investments and the like) for sure and an arbitrary number covers his scamming incoming. So let’s say $800,000 a year.
A $100 donation is 0.0125% of his income.
Ast-fucking-onishing.