Smartassery

Beatrix Kiddo: I don’t know why I got the dispatch department. I need tech support. Could you transfer me please?

Replicant: I see here that you have a parts order being processed. Do you need the status of your shipment?

BK: No. I need support. Could you please transfer me to technical support?

R: Okay. But before I transfer you, what’s the problem?

BK: Well, my computer died this morning. It needs a new motherboard which is the new part that you see a dispatch order for. However, I need to ask a technician about recovering some data

R: Well, I cannot help you with that

BK: (Well, thanks for the hot tip Quentin!) Yes, I kind of imagined that. Hence, why I’m asking you transfer me to tech support

R: Okay, since you have a technical question and I cannot help you with that, I’m going to have to transfer you to the technical support department who’ll be able to help you with your technical question (Pause – maybe she ran out of batteries?)

BK: Yes???

R: So right now I’m going to be transferring you to the technical support department so they can help you with the troubleshooting you need. Okay?

BK: (Yawn) I thought we had established that already

R: Okay! So I’m going to have to put you on hold so I can get a technician on the line.

BK: Sure. Do you think we can skip to the part where you actually transfer me to tech support?

R: Sure. Can I get your permission to put you on hold so I can transfer you to the tech support department?

BK: (In tears of desperation and hope) Do I have a choice? Bloody do it already!

I never knew my patience could be squeezed like a shammy for an entire 20 minutes. 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 31st, 2006 at 11:53 pm and is filed under rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.