Smartassery

Venture capitalists would never do the door-to-door sales route uninvited. Proper business etiquette dictates they need to score a meeting first.

When it comes to mass e-mails, however, it’s a whole different story. Every month, we* send out these updates on how the firm is not doing anything of value and how we intend to keep it that way. Seriously, what we send out are these articles on venture capital written by the managing directors of this most un-illustrious place. The articles are quite good sometimes. If only they would apply their theories to actually grow the business…Sigh.

Anyway, when you send out 4,000 e-mails that are quite clearly unsolicited, you are, effectively, spamming (in the same vein as the “Do you need a bigger Peni$. Look here!” messages that greet you every morning). The unhooved ungulate that is my boss, however, doesn’t see it that way…

Even when we’ve had to change our ISP address 7 times because we keep getting blocked and reported as, guess what….spammers! Even when we receive replies such as “Please take my name off your rotten database. I never asked to be included. How did you…? Never mind, your articles are pointless, irrelevant and quite dull. This is the 10th time I ask you to do this. Next, I’ll be filing a harassment complaint and then sue you for your negative balance. Idiots.”

People, hold on tightly to your business cards. Really, don’t hand them out so freely to VC’s or you may suffer a lifetime of “XXXX Ventures. You too can line your pockets with bogus investments.”

 

*When I say WE, I obviously don’t include myself in this melting pot of incompetence. Clearly, I’m a superior form of life. 

This entry was posted on Monday, April 24th, 2006 at 7:26 pm and is filed under Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.