Smartassery

I wish to complain about my brand new Dell computer. It’s spiffy, fast and sexy, BUT there is a part missing. This would be the button that when pressed once, makes all sorts of things happen. I think this is what the Managing Director is referring to, when he tells me to finish by noon today the following tasks:

• print and bind 30 Power Point presentations (be ready to reprint and rebind)  
• update entire website with changes that have not been determined yet
• mail out all tax forms to all 100 investors…and their 500 mail handlers  
• send e-mail merge news to all 4000 potential suckers (I mean, investors)
• design the holiday card (remember – no mention or depictions of red, green, white, candy canes, Santas, sleds, elves, reindeers, trees, tree decorations, Christmas, menorahs, Hanukkah, matzo balls, Buddha, Allah, Yemaya, or others – as we need to keep it non-denominational so as not to offend the Managing Director)
• dispute the director’s hotel stay in Ibiza…with the credit card company, the hotel and his mistress
• review and translate 10 page contract for director’s Swahilian housekeeper
• find out why our website doesn’t rank high in Google…and fix it

There’s more to be done but I don’t want to drone on. You get the idea. I would appreciate it immensely if you could send a technician in to correct this gross omition in the assembly line operator’s part…Sooner the better. Thanks a million.

The Missing Link 

This entry was posted on Friday, March 24th, 2006 at 7:59 pm and is filed under Vapid Capital. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.