executive assistant interview tips
Information that is never volunteered during the interview process but that would most definitely make the same difference:
1. You will do the dishes every day. If I ever mutter into the air “we need to run a dish cycle,” I really mean “you, get your hands in the dirty water.”
2. We expect you to be able to know and do things that require specialized training, without the specialized training nuissance. These will include but are not limited to designing a website, tinkering with my laptop’s guts, and knowing insider information to all the airports and airlines around the world.
3. We will pay you less than the previous three executive assistants, yet will expect you to do their jobs. Flawlessly and at god speed.
4. You need to give us rides to the airport in your car which must be of a satisfactory model/year and which you need to keep clean and in good running condition (lest we complain). Also, you won’t be reimbursed for mileage. Also, your seats are reclined too far back for my taste.
5. You will toss my salad as I don’t know how to deal with food ingredients.
6. You will clean the stains in the carpet with cleaning stuff I have brought for you.
7. You will deal with my housekeeper as I don’t speak “blue collar.” You may want to brush up on your Swahili.
8. If I get a traffic citation, you will take the online traffic school exam for me so I don’t have to waste precious Amazon.com browsing time. Ideally, you will also need to impersonate me if I need to go to court.
9. You will pack and ship all my personal items that I sell on Ebay. You will also have to deal with any problems that arise from such dealings.
10. You will schedule (and reschedule as necessary) all my medical appointments (including wart removals, prostate exams, and infertility treatments).
Now be honest. If you get all these crucial tidbits during that display of superb acting skills that it is the interview, tell me you wouldn’t get up, ask where the bathroom is, and establish a new 50 meters world record while you scramble to the parking lot.